Passive Petals: A BeauYasha Critical Role Fanfic
by KelseyAnneLovelady
Summary: Based on a prompt that asked "How do I passive aggressively say 'fuck you' in flowers?" In a modern alternate universe, Yasha owns a flower shop in Zedash. She specializes in arrangements that mean something in the language of flowers. The problem is, she has no customers... until I woman walks in with a strange request.
1. Chapter 1

Passive Petals

A Beauregard/Yasha AU Fanfic

Yasha sighed heavily as she continued to read her new book. The lack of customers in her flower shop may have been good for her books, but it certainly wasn't good for her boredom or paycheck. She'd been open for almost a month, and not a single person had shown even a passing interest in her shop. People just didn't bother when in came to flowers anymore; they just bought the first thing they saw at Walmart. They didn't bother to find out what each plant meant in the language of flowers or invest in custom arrangements. Hers was truly a dying artform.

It had only been six months since she moved away from her home in Xorhas. The dark, rundown nature of the city was depressing, even for her. As such, it was by no means a place where a flower shop could thrive. As much as people just weren't interested in her shop in Zedash, the Xorhasians flat out couldn't afford luxuries like flowers in their economic situation. Opening a shop there that peddled anything other than necessities would've been economic suicide.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Yasha saw her phone light up with a text message from her roommate.

 _How's work?_

 _Non-existent as usually. You?_

 _Slow, but Monday's usually r. People are so *pissed emoji* to be coming off the weekend that they forget basic decency. LOL._

 _Sorry to hear that. Hope it gets better._

 _Back at u. *thumbs up emoji* C u at home._

Right when Yasha was about to reply, she heard the door hit the welcoming bell almost violently. When she looked up, she saw a young woman with olive skin and a dark undercut tied into a top knot. Yasha had to wonder how she wasn't cold in that wrapped crop top and sleeveless wrap. She didn't have much time to linger on that thought, however; the snarl on the woman's face was accentuated by her nose ring and eyebrow stud.

The woman stomped up to the counter and slammed down a twenty-dollar bill. "How do I passive-aggressively say 'Fuck You' in flower?"

There was a long moment of silence where Yasha stared at the woman in wonder, both for coming into the shop, and for her unusual request. Once she processed everything, she ripped off some white parchment. Then, she walked around the counter, beckoning the woman to follow her. "Come with me." Without questioning anything, the woman started following Yasha through the aisles of flowers.

"First, you're going to want some geraniums for 'stupidity'." Yasha plucked two bushels of magenta geranium blossoms and handed them to the woman behind her. "Then, some fox glove for insincerity. Next, we need to make this person feel useless with meadowsweet. We might want to throw in some yellow carnations to say 'you have disappointed me'. Oh, and we need some orange lilies for hatred." Once Yasha was done plucking all the flowers, she turned to the young woman, who tried to handle the dripping stems with care. "Who is this specifically for?"

"My asshole father."

"Never around?"

"No, just preferred money to me and sold me away to monks to beat the shit out of me."

"Ah. Then, yeah, that should be everything."

"Awesome."

Yasha lead the young woman back to the front counter and took the flowers from her. She began arranging them on the parchment in the most aesthetically pleasing way she could. As she was arranging, the young woman sat on the counter. "I can really get all of this for only twenty bucks?"

"Well, I discounted the price a bit."

"Why?"

"It seemed like you were having a bad day. Plus, you're my very first customer, so I'll take what I can get."

"Seriously? Why doesn't anyone else come here?"

"People have gotten lazy with flowers. They don't care what they mean. They just grab the first cheapest bouquets they see." Out of the corner of her eye, Yasha saw the woman nod. "How did you even find my shop?"

The woman shrugged. "I just plugged in a search for flower shops and yours was on the list."

"Why not go to the other places?"

"Well, like you said, no one actually gives a damn about what the flowers mean anymore. None of the other shops had what I was looking for. All they had were a bunch of lovey dovey romantic crap." Yasha nodded. "By the way, thanks for not kicking me out for my language."

"Has that happened?"

"At every. Single. Shop. People are so uptight these days. You didn't even flinch at my order."

"Honestly, not the weirdest thing that's been said with flowers."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, come on. I won't tell anyone."

"Well… I once gave this asshole a bouquet for his bitch girlfriend that said pretty much the same thing your bouquet says… but it was COVERED in essence of poison oak." The woman started laughing so hard she fell off the counter. Yasha leaned over the counter and asked, "Are you okay?" When the woman kept laughing, Yasha assumed she was fine. "Alright. That oughta do it."

As the young woman stood up, she smiled. "Hey, great. Thanks…. Hey, not to be a bother, but is there any way you could have this shipped somewhere outside of the city?"

"Where to?"

"Kamordah."

"Hmm. Hang on." Picking up her phone, Yasha brought up a schedule. "I've got some friends who are headed there starting tomorrow. I could probably ask them to take it. What's the address?"

"Lathander's Winery. 504 North Broadway Avenue. 59715."

Yasha scratched out the address in her planner. "Do you want a card to go with this?"

After thinking for a moment, the woman said, "Nah. That seems like overkill."

"Alright. That will be on the road tomorrow and it should arrive in three days."

"Thanks… what's your name?"

"Yasha."

"Yasha…" Sticking her hand out, the young woman smirked. "I'm Beau."

"Nice to meet you." As Yasha took Beau's hand, she felt crisp paper pass between them. When they released hands, Yasha found another twenty in her had. Before she could say anything, she heard her shop bell jingle and Beau was nowhere to be found.


	2. Chapter 2

Passive Petals

A Beauregard/Yasha AU Fanfic

Chapter 2

The next day, Yasha's shop was just as empty as always. There hadn't been a new customer since that Beau girl had appeared. The only visitor Yasha had was Mollymauk with lunch; a Jimmy John's Turkey Tom with onions and cheese and no tomatoes. He also brought chips, a cookie and a soda.

Her heavily tattooed friend with purple hair asked, "Any sign of that crazy customer?"

Right as Yasha was about to answer, the door bell jingled. Looking to the entrance, Yasha and Molly saw Beau, who was accompanied by a tall man with a dark uncut, a scarred face and green outdoor gear. There was also a cut, short woman with blue hair and an adorable dress.

"Oh, my gosh! This story is so pretty!" The little girl with a Russian accent started exploring the aisles of flowers with innocent wonder in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Beau and the man approached the front desk. "Hey, Yasha."

"Hello, Beauregard." Turning to Molly, she explained, "This is the woman who bought that bouquet from me yesterday."

"Ah, we were just talking about you. Mollymauk Tealeaf. Charmed." Instead of giving a handshake, Molly gave a flourishing bow, as he usually did when meeting new people. Beau gave him that curious look that everyone gave molly when they first met him.

"Beau." Nodding to the man, she continued, "This is my friend, Fjord."

The taller man reached out a hand and shook both Yasha's and Molly's, saying in a polite southern accent. "Pleasure."

The introductions were interrupted by the little blue haired woman hopping onto the counter and looking right into Yasha's face. "Wow! You look so cool and badass! I'm Jester! Nice to meet you! We're best friends now!" Jester's threw her arms around Yasha's thick shoulders, making Yasha go stiff.

Yasha silently mouthed to Beau, "Is she always like this?"

Fjord and Beau nodded in perfect, understanding unison.

Molly chuckled, "I like her. She's delightful."

Jumping off of Yasha, Jester threw her arms around Molly, who returned the sudden hug. "Oh, my gosh! I like you too! You have so many cool tattoos."

"Thank you, dear."

Suddenly, Jester noticed the tarots cards that Molly was absent mindedly shuffling. "Oh, my gosh! Do you read fortunes?"

Without skipping a beat, Mollymauk went right into performer mode. "Why, yes I do." He started preforming shuffling card tricks, making Jester clap like a giddy school girl. Fjord nodded, also somewhat impressed. Beau, on the other hand looked on cynically.

"How much for a fortune?"

"Three dollars." Jester dug into her hug designer purse and pulled out a five. "Oh, I'm so sorry love, but I don't have any change on me."

"That's okay. You can keep the change."

"Well, bless you, dear." With his widest smile, Molly took the five dollars. Turning to Yasha, he asked, "Mind if I used the break room?" Yasha nodded her permission, and Molly linked his arm with Jester and lead her to the back room.

Beau spoke up, saying, "Sorry about her. She's a little… enthusiastic."

"Oh, it's fine. She's… she's charming." Fjord laughed in agreement, but Beau remained quiet. "What brings you all here?"

Taking the lead again, Beau said, "Well, we kinda need another bouquet."

With a little laugh, Yasha asked, "And what do you want this one to say?"

"Something along the same lines as yesterday with a little flavor of blackmail."

Yasha's laughter faded at the word blackmail. "… Who is this for?"

"Demedan Bambauch."

"… As in the Bambauch Brewery?"

"Yeah. He's the current owner."

"What did he do… if you don't mind my asking."

Fjord took over, saying, "We did some labor for Mr. Bambauch and he was… a difficult boss, to say the least.

"I see… and the blackmail part?"

Fjord looked over to Beau. Being as dodgy as possible, she answered, "We might've intercepted some information about a project he's working on that could be a bit… illegal."

Yasha looked between Beau and Fjord with hesitation.

With great gentility, Fjord added, "If you don't feel comfortable with this commission, we do understand. I can promise you that if you do this for us, nothing will be traced back to you. You don't have to put your name on it, and you don't even have to touch anything if you don't feel comfortable. We'd hate to drag you into a fight that's not yours."

After thinking for a long moment, Yasha pulled out some gloves she usually wore when she was handling the more poisonous of plants. "I'll be right back."

After about five minutes, Yasha returned to the front desk with a bunch of yellowish-gold flowers. Just as she had done with Beau's first bouquet, she began arranging them on the white parchment paper.

Beau sat on the counter and asked, "So what do all of these flowers mean?"

"St. Johns Wort is for 'animosity', Rue for 'disdain', and Birdsfoot Trefoil for 'revenge'."

"What about the other two?"

"Those are for specific phrases; Coltsfoot means 'Justice shall be done' and the Wild Tansy means 'I declare war on you'."

"That sounds pretty perfect to me."

Fjord nodded in agreement. "Seems to get the point across. Just hope Demedan doesn't figure out that it's from us." Yasha and Beau nodded before Fjord asked, "So how long have you been doing this, Yasha?"

"Oh, I only opened my shop about a month ago."

"Oh, yeah? Has this always been the dream?"

"Well, at least since I moved here. Do you want a card?" Yasha was desperate to change the subject.

Beau took over. "Actually, yeah. Have the card say, 'We know about the Bloodroot'." Yasha gave Beau and Fjord a disturbed look. "Have you heard of Bloodroot?"

"It's a poisonous red flower… what kind of illegal shit is this guy involved in?"

"Beau was about to answer when Fjord held up his hand to stop her. "Yasha. I can see how nervous this makes you, and I completely understand. You have a right to know what you're getting involved in, but it might also protect you to know as little as possible. The choice is yours."

Yasha thought about what Fjord was saying before silently returning to the arrangement and card.

Within about ten minutes that bouquet was ready in a glass vase. Beau spoke up, "Thanks again Yasha. How much do we owe you?"

"Sixty dollars."

"I GOT THIS!" Jester came tearing out of the break room with Molly calmly following her with a confident smile on his face. Jester slapped three twenties down on the counter before marveling at the bouquet. "Oh, my gosh! Yasha! It's so pretty! You're amazing."

With an embarrassed blush coming over her face, Yasha said, "It was nothing."

Fjord reassured, "No. It was quiet a risk and we thank you for doing us this favor. It was a pleasure to meet you both. Have a nice day and I hope you won't mind if we come back to see you."

"… Sure."

With that, the trio left with Fjord carrying the vase, Jester skipping out the door, and Beau trailing behind with a lingering look.

Molly patted Yasha's back. "Strange ones, aren't they?"


End file.
